Tiny Stranger

ImageWe’ve all seen the Facebook posts from new mothers talking about how in love they instantly were after they had their babies. When I finally held her in my arms, I felt a deep sense of detachment. Where were the unicorns and rainbows shooting from her butt?

They don’t tell you that it doesn’t always spontaneously sweep over you. It was almost as if we swung by the bus stop and picked up this tiny stranger.

Being a Mom hasn’t come naturally to me. I wasn’t connected or bonded immediately. I had to spend time with her, lose sleep with her, and learn how to make her laugh.BYbPxi-CEAEqGzf.jpg-large

The first time I felt like a mother was when she was crying so hard she lost her breath, and when I swept her up in my arms, she immediately collapsed and cooed, silence. I finally felt that connection you read about when I realized that she NEEDED me – something I haven’t ever felt in my life. Someone genuinely depends on my existence for their happiness … That is motherhood.

And so I sit here with a soundly sleeping baby girl in the bassinet to the right of me. There are moments where I stare at her, wondering if she knows that I struggle with the worthiness and attachment of motherhood. In troubling moments of no-sleep or days when everything hurts from bending over a bathtub the wrong way, I usually find her smiling.

All she really knows is that I’m the only sense of home she has ever felt. Whether inside my belly or in my arms, I am her comfort, I am her safe place … and all I really know is that she is mine.


23 thoughts on “Tiny Stranger

  1. Hi there! I know how frustrating it can be to spend time stressing over what blouse to wear with what skirt, or trying on twelve different pairs of jeans and not finding the right fit and you’re A BUSY MOM! That’s why I started a 100% online personal styling business with Keaton Row. I’ll work with your wardrobe needs, personal style preferences, and budget to help you look your best without the stress. And during Keaton Row’s launch year, styling services are totally FREE! This is not a scam, just trying to get the word out. You only pay for the items you choose to buy – and the prices are exactly the same through Keaton Row as through the retailer. You can contact me at boripop.wordpress.com for free styling or browse one of my lookbooks: http://keatonrow.com/lookbook/5282f4c53a70770167004a38

  2. Terrific article! This is the type of information that are meant to be shared across the net.

    Shame on Google for no longer positioning this submit upper!

    Come on over and seek advice from my web site . Thanks =)

  3. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment
    didn’t show up. Grrrr… wepl I’m not writing all that over again.
    Anyways, just wanted to say wonderful blog!

  4. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so
    much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you can do with some pics to drive the
    message home a bit, but instead of that, this is fantastic blog.
    An excellent read. I will definitely be back.

  5. I was suggested this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post
    is written by him or anyone else but this such detailed
    post and i like reading.

  6. I amm really enjoying the theme/design of your website.
    Do you evsr run into any brwser compatibility problems?
    A few of my blog readers have complained about my sitfe not operating correctly inn Explorer but looks great in Opera.
    Do you have any recommendations too help ffix this problem?

  7. Great website. Lots of useful information here. I’m sending it to several pals ans also sharing in delicious.
    And of course, thank you in your sweat!

  8. Pretty component of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to claim that I acquire
    in fact loved account your weblog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing for your feeds and
    even I fulfillment you get right of entry to consistently rapidly.

  9. What’s up i am kavin, its my first occasion to
    commenting anyplace, when i read this piece of writing i thought i could also
    create comment due to this sensible article.

  10. The system’s production of pertinent data and clear performance measurements enables
    operators to run their business efficiently and plan strategically.
    To be able to be in a kickboxing class in Elmhurst, NY and know that you are accomplishing many different aspects of life is just amazing.
    Their club provides a huge state of the art equipment, saunas, masseurs, nutritionists,
    beauty therapists and the best personal training programs which will help you to get the best out of

  11. Enhance the effect of an elliptical machine as a 24hr
    fitness trainer, by deciding upon a machine that also capabilities handlebars for
    a incredibly effective total human body exercise. Think about the
    demographic of the user, the size of the space and
    of course the budget. Boxing exercise in intervals and with high intensity is the
    key to lightening fast results.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s